Sunday, September 21, 2014

Bohemian Rhapsody

Weirdly beautiful and cool as fuck.
People, meet the glorious Tatra T87

Born in Czechoslovakia in 1939 with an arse like a space rocket and speed to match;
stolen by the Nazis as "THE car for the autobahn" and driven by Erwin Rommel among others;
the T87's amazingly low drag coefficient and awesome 3 litre transverse engine mounted over the back wheels inspired Doctor Ferdinand Porsche to copy its front end and engine arrangement for the Volkswagen and Porsche 911, an act that got him sued by Tatra for breach of copyright.

A baby like this will set you back around £140,000 (they only made around 3,000 of 'em) but amazingly there's an orange one that regularly races at Goodwood (see posts passim).

The Tatra T87: it's utterly bonkers but I love it.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Performing Through The Decades

See? See?
It's NOT just the young, skinny glamour girls I chase after for photos at Goodwood.
Well … occasionally it's not.
Not when such a magnificent lady as this one pops into my viewfinder.
The "Performing Through The Decades" slogan on the back of her race programme
seems to match her own experience.

These two, too, are completely beautiful in their "land girl" getups.

Dressing up in period garb doesn't have to mean glam and glitter.
This pair are perfect.

The Goodwood Revival Meeting is for ALL ages.

Indeed for all sorts.

And for all shapes and sizes (not so sure about the glitter shoes, though).
Yes, polka-dots are slimming …

… but they're no substitute for ACTUAL slimming.

That's all for today. I'll glam it up a bit next time.
Toodle pip!

Monday, September 15, 2014

They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To (because they're a bunch of cheap shits with no more sense of style than a week-old dog turd) …

Continuing a theme I often get entangled in (and rightly so):

 Like the sad case of the classic Merc featured in the link above, Goodwood's annual Concours d'Elegance reminds me - rather forcefully - of the tragic loss of style, elegance and sheer, sumptuous beauty in 21st century "design".

This is a 5-series Beemer: the unutterably gorgeous BMW 507 from 1957.

 How fucking sexy is that? 
You know you want it, don't you? Yeah? Yeah?
Yes, you do. I can tell by all the drool on your chin.

Does it look like a 5-series Beemer to you?
Does it buggery.
No, instead it looks FANTASTIC!
What the hell happened to BMW?

Wake up, you serried tossers of the once-honourable Bavarian Motor Works!
You could do it once. You can do it again. How hard can it be?
I mean, this car is older than I am! 

I couldn't bring myself to photograph the modern version (you can just about make it out in the background).
The imbeciles have taken the magnificent grille of the 507 and turned it into a joke Hitler moustache.
Oh, for the love of all things decent …

Get a grip, you horrible Huns and sack your entire design staff.
And make sure you kick out the accountants, too.
Get some class, assholes.

The rest of us will just sit here and ache with longing for what might have been if you hadn't lost the plot.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Privates on Parade

In the words of the incomparable Captain Mainwaring:
Right, you 'orrible lot. Get your kit on and get your arses on parade.
Normally at this time of year you get photos of Phil with the Glamcab Girls

This year, however, to show solidarity with the distaff side, we present Dawn with the Dad's Army Boys.

And you all know what that means … Prepare yourselves to be deluged with post after post of vintage racing cars, planes and pretty gels in spiffy frocks.


Follow the rules and nobody gets hurt.
Welcome to the 2014 Goodwood Revival Weekend!

Monday, August 18, 2014

Yum

Yummy meal at the weekend for Mum's birthday. Phil treated us to a blow out at the Fox and Goose at Fressingfield.
Top food, top service, middling prices, beautiful building: Boffo!

Petrea, when you come over I'll take you and John there as you'd love the building (c.1503) as much as the food.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

A Whistleblower Writes …

Ha!
Please read this article from the Guardian.

For any non-English readers, the Tories have been trying to replace state education with so-called "academies" (run for profit by corporations rather than for the education of students).

The OFSTED results (schools inspectors) gave the "academies" terrible reports, with good reason.

Suddenly, however, this spring, the "academies" were getting startlingly good reports and the right wing press (the Torygraph and the Daily Mail) were trumpeting their success.

Gosh! Maybe it's a GOOD thing to replace our free state education with profit-raking greed …

So what was happening?
By law, schools are only allowed half a day's notice of an OFSTED inspection. A friend of a friend who knows I love doing this kind of thing passed me this document, which I sent on to the Guardian's education department as well as local papers and other like-minded Tory-baiters:


It appears that the Tories, being a (cough) open and honest government (choke … gag) have been secretly giving their "academies" two weeks notice (sometimes more) of OFSTED inspections and parachuting in better teachers (only for inspection day), removing disruptive pupils, plastering over the cracks and slapping on a fresh coat of paint; in fact doing everything they can to fake a great report.

I had asked the Guardian to run with this and see where it went and it seems they have done just that.

Now all we have to do is kick the fuckers out at the next election and perhaps we can return to a decent education system, not one run for profit by filthy Tory financial donors.

Whistleblowing is a wonderfully rewarding hobby. I'd recommend it to anyone.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Beware Saggy Old Men in Lycra

Hey, laydees … Saggy old men in lycra are waiting for YOU!
Please note, I'm the only one present with sufficient common decency to cover my lycra padded undercrackers with baggy shorts.
Meet the newly consecrated office road race team about to set off on our first practice run for next season's Tour de Broads. The gels are kitting themselves out with new bikes and Emily and Corrina should be joining us next time around.
Tragically, the boss has designed some company cycling clothes (bright orange!) which should arrive before our next ride.
Here's where we went. A lovely sunny evening with much banter and some wicked hill climbs and sprints en route.

 We managed to get back in time for beer …

… and sunset.
Boffo!
Amazingly, no aches and pains today and having done the long distance meant I knocked five minutes off my time cycling home this evening.

Dammit … I'm becoming a cycling bore.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

New Toy

Boardman Team Carbon Road Bike. Hot damn!
Upgraded Shimano bits and bobs.
Computer training doohickey.
First time I've been road riding in twenty years. Ten miles to the orifice. Starting out at half-an-hour each way; average 20mph. That's gotta improve.
The thing weighs about as much as a rice cracker. Fuck, it's fast on a good road.

Yes, I know it's in my living room and not my garage. It's my new baby and I want to cuddle it and talk to it.
And no, I do NOT wear lycra (sheesh).